EDITORIAL: Who's Been Naughty In Louisiana's Politics This Year
Times-Picayune (excerpt)

When the second plate of cookies came back to the North Pole kitchen untouched, Mrs. Claus became alarmed. "Honey, the librarians in St. Tammany Parish sent those cookies just for you," she said, "aren't you going to eat them?" But Santa had lost his appetite. "I'm completely irrelevant," he groused. "People aren't waiting for me to bring them their just reward for being nice on Christmas morning -- they're just grabbing at the goodies all year long."

Santa picked up the naughty list, which unrolled the length of his office. "This is just from Louisiana," he said.

Heading the list was the Louisiana Legislature, whose members voted to give themselves a 123-percent pay raise, ignoring public outrage over their greed. "They seem to think the taxpayers are Santa Claus," he said. "And they must think that Christmas comes in July." At least Gov. Bobby Jindal vetoed the raise -- avoiding his own lump of coal.

While Santa couldn't get interested in even the most tempting plate of cookies, he noticed that lawmakers were still eating quite well, with a $50 per meal cap on what they can take from lobbyists. He shook his head when he recalled Rep. Charmaine Marchand's complaint that they'd be reduced to eating fast food. "They all need to go on a coal and switches diet," Santa muttered.

Legislators weren't the only ones who were confused about Santa's identity. The Public Service Commission continued to view the utilities they regulate as Kris Kringle. Santa looked at the tab run up by Commissioner Jay Blossman -- 85 meals at a cost of $3,436 over the last five years. Joan Holley, executive assistant to the commission secretary, was treated to 95 meals. She said that she and her most frequent host, Entergy senior analyst Millie Adams, "just laugh and talk about fun things." Santa likes a good laugh as much as anyone, but this revelation didn't elicit any ho-ho-hos.

"On to Mandeville," Santa sighed. The naughtiness there was truly epic. Mayor Eddie Price took meals and trips from businessmen whom he confused with Santa Claus. The mayor and other officials also acted like their city credit card bills were being sent straight to the North Pole. Then there was the matter of the mayor crashing through the toll gate on the Causeway and driving his city-owned vehicle in a way that led police to think he'd over-indulged. But what made Santa's blood boil was the revelation that unraveled the whole sorry mess. A fund that was meant to help the poor -- and especially to buy children toys at Christmas -- was used to buy gifts for city workers and high-ranking officials, including the mayor.

New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin seemed to be more angry at the people who uncovered the naughtiness than those who had committed it. "That's all right," Santa said, "He got his Award of Distinction for Recovery, Courage and Leadership. That'll look nice next to his lump of coal."

Santa had no idea last Christmas that former Gov. Kathleen Blanco had played St. Nick in her final weeks in office, giving the incompetent Road Home contractor a whopping $156 million pay raise. That bit of misguided generosity didn't come to light until March.